Jason Chandler's Christmas Message 2005.
(:THE SANDWICH MONOLOGUE:)
   
 

"I'll kill you.
Who wants a sandwich?
I haven't eaten anything
and who wants some?
i scream, i haven't,
it's just a rumour.
i'll kill anyone who says
'get your chops round that.'

there's no way out,
go make a sandwich.
i wish i had some
legal capacity
to order
you
to
make a sandwich.

i want to eat some mescalin.
it would go down nicely.
it would be nice
to be gripped hold of
and taken away
for maybe two days.
let's drink some whiskey.
what are we going to do then?''